Watch me wallaby speed mate.

30 06 2010

Over the last few days, I had got to wondering what was up higher above the pie line at awaba. With all the greasy mud in the low lying areas during the club round, it would make sense to find an alternative route higher up the hillside. I had also heard whispers that “skids r4 kids” is at the same altitude as the top the S-bend climb and that there might be a possibility of following a contour that leads the whole way around the ridgeline and linking the two. So I went for a wander to check it out for myself.

Wallabies are fat lazy bastards but they are the perfect trail builders. If you follow a wallaby trail, they never go up or downhill, they always follow the contour line around. So much so, that I have often wondered about wallaby genetic lines. I am pretty sure you could tell what level a wallaby lives on the hill by tracing its genetic profile, since it would be quite possible for two wallabies living no further than 10m higher or lower than each other to never meet since it would require too much effort on their behalf to get to a different level.

So thinking like a wallaby, I picked up a trail a little higher than the current track and followed it. In fact, I followed it quite a long way. At times i had to do the must un-wallaby like thing and move up or down a level, but I was able to follow their trails across several watercourse crossings and quite a long way around the ridgeline. At this point, I felt sure I was going to be able to get all the way around to S-bend with bugger all effort on my behalf – just like a good wallaby would do it.

That is when it went pear shaped. Firstly it started with Lantana. A little bit at first but soon it was a freakin impenetrable mess of skin tearing hate sticks. “It will open out on the other side” I kept telling myself. Then the Lantana gave way to the palm trees. Not the lovely coconut dropping hammock poles you find on a tropical island., more the thorn covered death matrix you would find in satans garden. Convinced I would push through it in just a moment, I pushed on, stopping occasionally to dig thorns out of my arm or look for the ‘awaba cougar ‘as things rustled in the bushes. Soon the palm trees gave way to a mine field of moss covered rocks and tangled vines. Surely I must nearly be there…..

No, In fact, I was now at a waterfall where the watercourse below it was crazy steep and littered with boulders the size of a volkswagon. Sensing this might prove difficult terrain to build trail in (note the sarcasm), I beat a hasty retreat to lament what could have been. There may well be a way through that mess that could harbor a trail but it might take days and days of walking to find it and I don’t know that I have enough skin and blood to sustain me through such a quest. A couple of offsiders might prove useful for this one, maybe I will take the single speeders up there and tell them there is beer at S-bend, That should cut a trail in pretty quickly.




3 responses

30 06 2010

I got a couple of drums of agent orange in the garage I brought back from Nam. Should do the job.

30 06 2010
b rad

I love the smell of napalm in the morning!

30 06 2010

Hey Brad! or he could borrow my M134 6 barrel minigun (ala jessie ventura in predator style) but i’m out of ammo.

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